Was it her or me?

B. Jay Cooper
2 min readFeb 17

Stick with me on this.

We have our morning routine here. Whoever is up first prepares breakfast.

For me, Cheerios with fruit. For my wife, fruit with oatmeal or granola. Then, we each have a cuppa. She stays upstairs to read the papers and eat; I go downstairs so I can have music (classical in the morning) and a fire, depending on the temp.

When I go to get my second cup, I add yogurt to my cereal and return downstairs to read the papers and eat. Typically, after two cups and cereal, I then go get ready for the day. When ready, I return to the coffee pot and have a third cup, if there’s enough left over.

Still with me? Good, because I think it’s worth it. But you be the judge.

So, I go into the kitchen to pour my third cup and … no coffee pot in the coffee maker. This is a bit unusual to say the least because there are only two of us in the house. So, though this would be totally out of the ordinary, I figure Chris took the pot with her for more coffee. Which she never does.

I look around more carefully. I think, maybe I put the pot in the sink to wash it. But nope, no pot (coffee). I think, “if I were a coffee pot where would I go?” Yes, I honestly had that thought which I admit is an odd enough thought to have (and admit) but that’s what I thought.

So, I open the fridge and there on the top shelf is the half and half I use (and put in the fridge after each use. (I know you’re a step ahead but let me at least get to the punchline.). Next to the half and half — the coffee pot! (I do not drink iced coffee).

I go to Chris and I say, “Something odd just happened and, I’m sure I know who did it, but I figured I’d check.” I tell her about the pot in the fridge. She laughs. I say, there are only two of us in the house, and I think I know who did it. She laughs more.

Yeah, I couldn’t lay it on her because we both know that I’m Mr. Magoo, especially as I get older.

She said, now that’s a blog post.

And, it is.

B. Jay Cooper

Former deputy White House press secretary (Reagan and Bush 41) and former head of communications at Republican Natl Committee. My blog: bjaycooper.com.